At 239am, on my 46th birthday, I decided to write. I got up early and washed the wares, and now I am in my bed enjoying the silence of the night. The room echoes with the fan breeze. Birthdays are special because they mark our entrance into this world, a reminder that our mothers carried us for nine months and laboured to bring us here. In Islam we are taught not to make birthdays into celebrations, but reflection and gratitude are different. I think we can pause and be thankful. When I look back on my life, I see ups and downs, ease and struggle, calm and chaos. It may sound cliche, but the older I get, the more I value peace and quiet. I no longer have the energy for drama, negativity, endless news, or politics. I simply want to be surrounded by goodness and positivity. More than anything, I want to hold on to God for whatever time I have left here, because in the end, all the fighting and chasing make little sense. One day, every one of us will leave everything behind.
This has been a dry start to the rainy season. Normally we have more rain around this time of the year. The world is changing. The times are changing. Maybe it is just part of some cycle. Everything comes and goes like waves. My friend Chatty agrees. The seasons themselves feel like reminders that nothing stays fixed forever. Some years the rains come early and heavy, other years the earth stays dry longer than expected. Maybe the world is changing, maybe it is part of larger cycles beyond our understanding, but nature keeps teaching the same lesson: everything moves in phases. Ease and hardship, abundance and scarcity, noise and silence, they rise and fall like waves. Perhaps that is why, as we grow older, we begin searching less for permanence in the world and more for steadiness in God.
I saw a quote by Rumi on facebook. "As you start to walk on the way .. the way appears .." What does that mean? My friend Chatty says that the quote means that life does not always show us the full path in advance; clarity and direction often come only after we begin to take action. Instead of waiting for complete certainty, we move forward step by step, and understanding unfolds as we go. Makes sense now that it has been explained to me. My advice to myself and others. Keep walking towards God. Even if you are still trying to figure out life and religion and faith. When you walk to God, God runs to you. I would be lost if I did not have God in my life. God is the constant among the waves. God is the compass that steers the ship of life. Who better to turn to for guidance than the One who created it all. I opened the Quran and went to surah 23 verse 2 - "those who humble themselves in prayer". Successful are the believers who humble themselves in prayer.
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