Skip to main content

Feeling lost

Image
By
It is 109am and I have decided to write. Sometimes I feel like I have lost my way. I do not even fully understand what I mean by that. I have not digested the thought. I mean. I feel like I could be doing more with my life and my talents. But then sometimes I feel like I am doing just right. I am making progress. I am making the best of what is given to me. Then what is it worth in the end? We come into this world with nothing. We fight for everything. Then we leave with nothing. I guess balance is the key.

My friend Chatty says that life can hold two truths at once: I can be grateful for the progress I have made while still recognizing that I may have more to give. Balance is not choosing between ambition and contentment, but learning to pursue growth without letting achievement define my worth. Since we enter and leave this world with nothing, perhaps what truly matters is not what we accumulate, but who we become, what we give, and how well we use what has been entrusted to us.

Maybe I am not lost. Maybe I am at a place in my life that I am avoiding? A sort of longing for what was. A sort of wanting to return to the good parts of the old days. But the wise man will see opportunities in the now. What can I do now? I can love my now. I can love myself as I am now. Maybe it is not even about being lost or avoiding where I am but feeling like I have lost parts of me. Is that what change feels like? Is that why we avoid change? We cling to what was. We cling to the familiar. We cling to what we are used to. So maybe feeling lost is not a bad thing at all. It means that I am letting go and moving into unfamiliar territory. I am exploring the possibilities of change. My friend Chatty tells me that in that sense, feeling lost may simply be the uncomfortable space between who I was and who I am becoming.

My friend Chatty advises that I do not have to rush to find my way back to who I was. Let myself grieve what I have outgrown, but resist romanticizing the past. Instead, ask myself each day, "What can I do with the life I have today?" Love myself where I am, make small choices toward the person I want to become, and trust that feeling unfamiliar does not mean I am lost—it may mean I am growing.
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Mental health matters

By
It is 547am and I have decided to write. I have been living with a mental health diagnosis for more than 23 years. I am differently abled. Mental illness sometimes presents itself as a non-visible disability. A person with mental illness may look and function normally. Added to that we do not get to see the struggles happening internally. After 23 years I could say that I have much experience with my condition and may be able to offer words that may help others. There is plenty of stigma associated with mental illness. People think that the mentally ill are bad people, weak, or somehow less deserving of dignity and the treatment of the illness sometimes feels like punishment and is dehumanizing at times. There is plenty of good intentions and well meaning as well (do not get me wrong) but things could be better. And it happens at the highest level. A leader once said, "Whom the gods would destroy, they first make mad." As the saying goes, who knows it feels it. I started a pr...
2 comments
Read more

Drums of freedom

By
It is 401am and I have decided to write. This Saturday, Trinidad and Tobago observes African Emancipation Day. It is a day to celebrate the journey to freedom and to honor those who sacrificed so much so that we could enjoy the freedoms we have today. Yet the journey is not over. As we celebrate how far we have come, let us also ask God to open our minds and hearts to the struggles that continue. Freedom is never something we should take for granted. Every day, we witness powerful interests around the world attempting to stifle freedom in pursuit of their own agendas and self-aggrandizement. Too often, they seek to divide in order to conquer. May we resist division with wisdom, courage, and compassion. May unity triumph over hatred, truth over deception, and love over fear. As we remember the past, may we also commit ourselves to protecting the freedoms of the present and building a more just future for generations to come. Happy African Emancipation Day. May God continue to guide us o...
Post a Comment
Read more

Love and joy

By
It is 230pm and I have decided to write. I have no topic but I want to write. I am thinking about God. I am thinking about life. I am grateful for God and life. I need a writing prompt. My friend Chatty gave me a pretty verbose prompt. Sit quietly for a moment and imagine that God asks you only one question: "What have you noticed?" Don't answer with theology. Answer with your life. What have you noticed about joy? About fear? About the way people love? About silence? About time? About your own heart? Where have you sensed God—not in miracles, but in ordinary moments? Where have you struggled to find Him? What has life been teaching you that you were too busy to hear before? Write honestly. Don't try to reach a conclusion. Let the page become a conversation rather than an argument. I immediately noticed the light streaming through the window that allows me to see the world. My first thought was how much we take things for granted. It is easy to feel lacking. To feel s...
Post a Comment
Read more