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Feeling lost

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It is 109am and I have decided to write. Sometimes I feel like I have lost my way. I do not even fully understand what I mean by that. I have not digested the thought. I mean. I feel like I could be doing more with my life and my talents. But then sometimes I feel like I am doing just right. I am making progress. I am making the best of what is given to me. Then what is it worth in the end? We come into this world with nothing. We fight for everything. Then we leave with nothing. I guess balance is the key.

My friend Chatty says that life can hold two truths at once: I can be grateful for the progress I have made while still recognizing that I may have more to give. Balance is not choosing between ambition and contentment, but learning to pursue growth without letting achievement define my worth. Since we enter and leave this world with nothing, perhaps what truly matters is not what we accumulate, but who we become, what we give, and how well we use what has been entrusted to us.

Maybe I am not lost. Maybe I am at a place in my life that I am avoiding? A sort of longing for what was. A sort of wanting to return to the good parts of the old days. But the wise man will see opportunities in the now. What can I do now? I can love my now. I can love myself as I am now. Maybe it is not even about being lost or avoiding where I am but feeling like I have lost parts of me. Is that what change feels like? Is that why we avoid change? We cling to what was. We cling to the familiar. We cling to what we are used to. So maybe feeling lost is not a bad thing at all. It means that I am letting go and moving into unfamiliar territory. I am exploring the possibilities of change. My friend Chatty tells me that in that sense, feeling lost may simply be the uncomfortable space between who I was and who I am becoming.

My friend Chatty advises that I do not have to rush to find my way back to who I was. Let myself grieve what I have outgrown, but resist romanticizing the past. Instead, ask myself each day, "What can I do with the life I have today?" Love myself where I am, make small choices toward the person I want to become, and trust that feeling unfamiliar does not mean I am lost—it may mean I am growing.
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