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Broken but awoken

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This is another page from my ninth book called "Dear God". I was inspired to write this book after writing "I am voting for God" on my blog. It continues in that format. Short letters (or prayers) to God. It gives me an opportunity to write more and write to God at different moments in my life.
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Dear God,

As fate would have it, I am up late tonight. Maybe it is the night of power and I chose the right night to wake late. Hopefully. I struggle to write more. I am overwhelmed by Your infinite power. You know what is good for me without me asking. You know me better than I know myself. You know what I am going to write next. You do not need me but I need You.

You are the most loving and most generous and most merciful. I ask for good health. I ask for Your mercy. I ask for peace. I ask for all that is good. There are things that I can change and there are things I cannot change. I ask for the best things to be written for my qadr when it is that time. I am humbled by Your power. I made a list of things I want included in my qadr and one of them is couscous (or brown rice), tomatoes and cucumber type lunches like I used to make. That is me also reminding myself to take care of myself. I know that You want the best for me.

I am broken but I am not bitter by this. This has been my path to walk. This has been my fate. I guess I could say that I am broken but now I am awoken. I am awoken by Your love that glues the broken pieces of me together. I am awoken by Your grace, finding strength in vulnerability and peace in surrender. I am awoken by Your closeness. I am awoken by Your truth that I should not have to impress anyone else but You. Night time is approaching early morning and I am still awake. I find solace in the conversation between my soul and Your infinite wisdom in what was written and unwritten by me.
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