This is a chapter from my third book called Love letters
The first day of Ramadan for us in Trinidad this year was on the twenty third of March and I tweeted, "Calm and peaceful first day of Ramadan." On the nineteenth of April (the fourth month) I wrote my *blog post "Soften my heart" where it was almost the end of Ramadan and I was pondering the question, what do I want to achieve? Somehow the numbers 19 and 23 show up again. Maybe coincidence or maybe the universe talking to me. Nonetheless, the main thing that I wanted to do was to soften my heart.
When I was younger and I stayed by my uncle's place in San Fernando I would attempt to fast some days. I would also attend nightly prayers (or Taraweeh). As a small child staying awake was a challenge especially after a hearty meal. The desert was the most exciting part of the meal (or iftar). I remember playing in the yard of the masjid on Mucurapo street. One day I got a buss head because my friend was careless in pelting something as I remember it. I remember the yard next to the masjid having this Calabash mango tree. I remember attending maktab to learn Arabic. I remember listening to songs (or qaseedas) on Eid day.
Now that I am older I appreciate the foundation that I got when I was young. I feel lucky that Islam chose me. I have much work to do to be a better muslim and I pray to God for continued guidance. Ramadan is more than just fasting (or sawm) and attending nightly prayers. It is also about doing good deeds and strengthening our faith (or iman) and staying on the right path. Ramadan for me is about connecting with the mercy of God and reminding myself that God loves us. I do miss Ramadan and I look forward to the next Ramadan in the next year. I love that God gives us this opportunity every year. I love Ramadan.
*I was 42 years old when I wrote that blog post.